“You can be my wingman anytime.” - Iceman (Top Gun)

Everything I learned, I learned in kindergarten. Well, that’s not exactly true because I skipped kindergarten. (The long story involves going to a new school and already knowing my ABC’s. I’ll spare you the details). So really, everything I learned, I learned in first grade. One of the first things that was instilled in me at an early age was the benefits of the buddy system.

In elementary school, prior to going outside for recess, we were to line up in a double-file line next to our buddy. (I always tried lining up next to the two hottest girls in the class. I was doomed from the beginning.) The buddy system was the system my teachers used to teach us accountability for others in the class. Really, it just made it easier for them to count us off in pairs.

Although I thought it was a pointless exercise at the time, I’ve now come to realize that the buddy system applies to more in life than just holding the hands of my elementary school girlfriends.

The buddy system as it applies to romance.

A romance buddy is someone who is there to help encourage you, share ideas with you, and be a sounding board for all your romantic ideas. They’ll be there to let you know whether a romantic idea is a good one or one that should be avoided at all costs (like proposing naked…don’t ask). Basically, a romance buddy is a like a wingman making sure you fly high with your partner instead of crashing and burning. More specifically…

A Romance Buddy Encourages You.

A romance buddy encourages you by giving you words of praise as you work to create that romantic event or implement that romantic idea. Anticipation of seeing the smile on your partner’s face when you do something romantic might be enough, but sometimes just hearing an “attaboy” or “attagirl” will give you that extra push to finish the project.

A Romance Buddy Shares Ideas With You.

A romance buddy will also share romantic ideas with you. No two eyes see the same world and, on the same note, no two people are romantic in the same way. With that in mind, your romance buddy might share some ideas of romantic projects that have worked for him or her in the past. Also, they can share new discoveries. If they see something romantic on a blog like PDX Romantic (shameless plug), they’ll share it with you.

A Romance Buddy Compares Notes With You.

A romance buddy will share with you how a romantic project they did worked for them. This is great because not only will you hear what they did, you’ll also hear about how it went. The key is to use what worked from their idea and incorporate it into something special that works for you and your partner.

For instance, let’s say your romance buddy is dating someone. They’ve been together for awhile and your romance buddy decides to give their special someone a gift. If they end up giving them jewelry in a ring box, and they’re not proposing, the first thing you’ll hear is why that’s a no-no. You could then say, “Thanks Romance Buddy!” and be on your way with new found knowledge of how not to disappoint your special someone.

So how do I get a romance buddy?

One of the best places to look is among your friends at work. Often times, your work place will be a good source for finding that next romance buddy for three reasons:

1. You spend a lot of time at work and it will be easier to share information.
2. You may end up doing much of the planning while at work (just don’t get caught by the boss).
3. Your partner will have fewer opportunities to interact with your romance buddy (unless all of you work together). This means fewer chances for your romance buddy to slip and tell your partner what you’re planning.

Of course, these are just some of the ways you can use a romance buddy to help you become more romantic. Hopefully, your romance buddy can stay mum on everything you’re planning and benefit from you being their romance buddy. Relationships are about reciprocating, after all.

By the way, if you’re looking for a romance buddy, PDX Romantic is a great place to start looking. We’ll encourage you, share ideas with you, and compare notes with you. Until then,

Stay romantic.